Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Five Most.. uhh Six Most.. uhm.. A Whole Bunch of Bastard-like Individuals in Our Sport

No one claimed hockey to be for the weak of heart. It has always, and will always, be a violent game reserved for those able to withstand absurd amounts of physical punishment. There is, however,--believe it or not non-hockey fans--a line that can be crossed. The next few guys can't even see the line at this point. It's some type of dark blur out in the distance on which a recent victim of their elbow or stick lies face-down and out cold.


  • Chris Neil

    • This clip is great evidence as to why players like Chris Neil shouldn't be in the league:



    • Chris Drury is one of the "good guys." He is soft-spoken, a leader by example and doesn't engage in cheap-shottery and the like. Neil's gutless blindside hit could very well have ended Drury's career when one thinks about all the players forced into retirement by concussions.


  • Sean Avery

  • If he's on your team, you love the guy. He bangs, he crashes and he gets opponents off their game. He's got underrated offensive skills and he's a gamer. He doesn't take a night off. If he isn't on your team, however, you think of him as a loud-mouthed, spineless waste of an NHL salary. His antics are well-documented as is the fact that he is the most hated player among NHLers. Here is some evidence as to why:

    • This is one of the dirtiest things I've ever seen Sean do and uhh, it's pretty dirty, even being done to soul-less Brendan Witt.





    • Avery's indifference about rubbing it into the other team's face. Something usually a prelude to a beating in the hockey world. I'm sure he got it at some time.



    Avery's game, if not his mouth, has changed since his time out West. People still hate him, but his focus in New York has been solely hockey... And broads. Possibly hookers. New York night-life and yes, hockey.



  • Chris Simon
    • This little bit of wholesome, family entertainment is brought to you by the little man in Chris' head who tells him to kill, kill, KILL! Observe:




    • How this man still finds teams willing to sign him in this league is mind boggling. He should have been banned for life for this most recent offense against Jarkko Ruutu:



  • Derian Hatcher


    • This guy's elbows should be doing time prison for aggravated assault. This guy headhunts like it's his job and specializes in this this friendly little move catching the puckcarrier coming around the net is his specialty.

    • Captain Asswipe at it again throwing his elbow of death in the direction of Jaromir Jagr's cerebellum.

    • The overt thuggery stops some but not all. On November 16th, 2005 Sidney Crosby was treated to some of the Hatcher Brand rough stuff, lost a few chicklets for his troubles, but ultimately came out victorious.



  • Cam Janssen


    • You don't need much more evidence than this ugly incident to realize Cam Janssen truly belongs on a list full of bastards. His exploits have even gotten him a prestigious place on a list of the Top Ten Most Evil People to have ever lived. He's somewhere between Hitler and Jim Rome.




  • Chris Pronger

    • Chris Pronger is one of the best defensemen in the game. There's no argument there, but he is also a throwback to a meaner time. This guy has no qualms with using his bionic elbows to unleash havoc upon the faces of would-be enemy attackers in his zone. Here are some of his charming exploits:




    • That jarring blow to Dean McAmmond (poor guy by the way, he must have a "cheap shot" target on his noggin) was bad news, but this was quite a bit worse. Take some classes at the Chris Simon school of goonery and this could be you:


    • Fans chime in with their take on the incident:


There you have it, just what you asked for, assorted videos of assorted bastards. Enjoy!

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